Well we are all finally enjoying our first real family holiday in 7 years. A full week away from home, no work, no stress, just sunshine and fresh sea air.
Our bungalow is beautiful and in a quiet little cul-de-sac in Simpsons Cross (just outside of Haverfordwest, Pembrokeshire) really worth the small amount that it has cost us and we already have plans to book again for next year!
Now the boys have made friends with a girl called Amy who lives in the bungalow next door with her nan and grandad. Me and Jess have been talking to her nan and it seems even though she is a bright bubbly 7 year old she has heartache and sorrow in her recent past.
Recently her mother passed away leaving Amy alone, but luckily for her she still has her grand parents to look after her.
She has no friends, has had to move schools and is still able to keep her head high and carry on.
Just imagine how hard each day must be for her knowing she will never see her mum again and her dad doesn't want to know her.
Remember this the next time you think you're having a bad day!!
Wednesday, 6 April 2016
Monday, 28 March 2016
Had a little bad mood relapse...
What a difference a day makes.
24 seemingly small hours of my life back where I was 2 years ago.
Very dangerous time. In that short time I had cried twice because I felt useless, contemplated suicide again, and pretty much decided I hated my family.
and all because I thought my tablets were doing me no good and I decided to stop taking them!
What a fcking idiot...
Yet now I'm completely normal(ish) again, 110% better than I was yesterday anyway!!!
mental note, DO NOT stop my tablets ever again!
24 seemingly small hours of my life back where I was 2 years ago.
Very dangerous time. In that short time I had cried twice because I felt useless, contemplated suicide again, and pretty much decided I hated my family.
and all because I thought my tablets were doing me no good and I decided to stop taking them!
What a fcking idiot...
Yet now I'm completely normal(ish) again, 110% better than I was yesterday anyway!!!
mental note, DO NOT stop my tablets ever again!
Tuesday, 22 March 2016
Not all doors open and close the same way
If you're reading this then thank you.
Be this the the first time you have stumbled across my ramblings, or you have been here before it's nice to know that at least someone out there is seeing what I write.
Since I started my blog (with large absence in the middle) I've been struggling with my identity, who am I, what do I want to do with my life.
Do i want too write about my life autobiographically, do I want to write some sort of fiction story around my life, do I want to be a writer or do I want to work on the internet.
I've actually started writing stories about my life, I started an autobiography, I've played games and uploaded videos to YouTube, I've even come back to my blog and while it's not important current events, or life style choices I blog about, it's what's important to me at the time.
With all this in mind I've realised that I am both all of these and none of these, if I want to write a story I'll do it, if i wasn't to play games and share videos I'll do that. There is nothing stopping me and there never was.
The only thing that has ever stopped me, is me!
My lack of confidence had always been a big part of my past. I've always 'put on a brave face' and pretended that I'm something I'm not, life and soul of the party, noisiest person there, first on the dance floor, yes that was me but I kind of did it to hide insecurities about me.
I was convinced people didn't actually like me, convinced or should that be paranoid.
I still spend alot of time now thinking that people are talking about me or wondering what people actually think about me.
But I've grown up, mentally I mean.
I don't care what people think anymore, just a select few namely; my wife and children, only their opinions are allowed to 'bother' me and as long as they live me for what I am then I'm happy with that.
Be this the the first time you have stumbled across my ramblings, or you have been here before it's nice to know that at least someone out there is seeing what I write.
Since I started my blog (with large absence in the middle) I've been struggling with my identity, who am I, what do I want to do with my life.
Do i want too write about my life autobiographically, do I want to write some sort of fiction story around my life, do I want to be a writer or do I want to work on the internet.
I've actually started writing stories about my life, I started an autobiography, I've played games and uploaded videos to YouTube, I've even come back to my blog and while it's not important current events, or life style choices I blog about, it's what's important to me at the time.
With all this in mind I've realised that I am both all of these and none of these, if I want to write a story I'll do it, if i wasn't to play games and share videos I'll do that. There is nothing stopping me and there never was.
The only thing that has ever stopped me, is me!
My lack of confidence had always been a big part of my past. I've always 'put on a brave face' and pretended that I'm something I'm not, life and soul of the party, noisiest person there, first on the dance floor, yes that was me but I kind of did it to hide insecurities about me.
I was convinced people didn't actually like me, convinced or should that be paranoid.
I still spend alot of time now thinking that people are talking about me or wondering what people actually think about me.
But I've grown up, mentally I mean.
I don't care what people think anymore, just a select few namely; my wife and children, only their opinions are allowed to 'bother' me and as long as they live me for what I am then I'm happy with that.
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