If you're reading this then thank you.
Be this the the first time you have stumbled across my ramblings, or you have been here before it's nice to know that at least someone out there is seeing what I write.
Since I started my blog (with large absence in the middle) I've been struggling with my identity, who am I, what do I want to do with my life.
Do i want too write about my life autobiographically, do I want to write some sort of fiction story around my life, do I want to be a writer or do I want to work on the internet.
I've actually started writing stories about my life, I started an autobiography, I've played games and uploaded videos to YouTube, I've even come back to my blog and while it's not important current events, or life style choices I blog about, it's what's important to me at the time.
With all this in mind I've realised that I am both all of these and none of these, if I want to write a story I'll do it, if i wasn't to play games and share videos I'll do that. There is nothing stopping me and there never was.
The only thing that has ever stopped me, is me!
My lack of confidence had always been a big part of my past. I've always 'put on a brave face' and pretended that I'm something I'm not, life and soul of the party, noisiest person there, first on the dance floor, yes that was me but I kind of did it to hide insecurities about me.
I was convinced people didn't actually like me, convinced or should that be paranoid.
I still spend alot of time now thinking that people are talking about me or wondering what people actually think about me.
But I've grown up, mentally I mean.
I don't care what people think anymore, just a select few namely; my wife and children, only their opinions are allowed to 'bother' me and as long as they live me for what I am then I'm happy with that.
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